Change in Plans, Change in Life

As I sit here and write, at the park with my kiddos--I know my life is about ready to change. I don't know if it is for the good or for the worst. I guess time will only tell.

My daycare provider/friend that has watched my kiddos since one of them was 1.5 is thinking of moving to Texas. Her husband lost his job last Wednesday and they have been looking for a reason to leave California. I've always wanted to leave, but because of my past I need to make sure that our future would be secure. We've always had this rainy day plan to move to Texas, but deep down I do love California and thus--God has always found a way for me to stay here. It hasn't always been easy but for the first time in a few years we are okay.

I knew this day would come one day, I really did. I just wasn't expecting it. She has watched my children for 7 years. They are almost old enough to stay at home after school, and we've made baby steps towards that process and were preparing for them to have that abilty next year. Now that reality is coming true I have to admit I am a little scared.

The unknown for me is very scary. I like to plan things out, know what my path is. Where things go and where they fit. When I don't, things get chaotic for me. That would also mean one good thing for us---no more help with childcare--the one thing I have been waiting for for years. To be free of that help, it is such a blessing!!

I do wish them best, I really do. I know my daughter will miss her best friend though. But just as anything that comes in our life, sometimes there comes a time when we must move on to bigger and better things, even if we really don't think we are ready. God tells us otherwise and we need to listen. I am listening, just a little nervous and scared at the same time as there is also quite a bit of things going on in my personal life besides this. I know this will aslo affect my kiddos, but they tell me they are okay with it. We shall see.

As for me--I sit here looking up at the trees, beautiful blue sky and hear the birds, people and sounds around me. I think to myself, I wish I didn't have to leave this little spot I am in right now. It seems all to perfect and wonderful. Though, the kiddos tell me they are bored, I'm sure they can find something to do at this beautiful spot I'm looking at right now.